my eyes hurt

I don't know what it is about cats & computers, but they have some sort of strange cosmic connection. I have Yoda who offers the obligatory bats at the screen saver, five of the cats who type all sorts of things into my IMs (much to the recipients' confusion), & Wilbur Jeeves who can merely walk by the back of the CPU and the whole thing resets (strong in the Force, that one).

But leave it to Mao Mao to offer up a new one. Today, in his Infinite Kitty Wisdom, he decided to sit/lean on the left edge of the keyboard. Thinking nothing of it (stupid, stupid human) I continued to read Mel's blog. Suddenly the blog morphed from something amusing into a huge freaking BILLBOARD. I checked Tory's ...same thing. I checked my home page...nothing of the sort. But alas, as soon as I go to my blog, IT'S A BILLBOARD.

So do me a favor. The next time you see your cat(s), please grovel appropriately and ask them if they might deign to offer a solution. Seriously, I'm getting a headache from the eyeball pain.

dealing with them thar christians

Melodee & I were high school classmates; she was one of the smart & witty ones. Since our 20th reunion we have endeavored to keep in touch, and I daresay we were both surprised (well I was) to discover we were different colors, e.g. one red & one blue. (Now before you jump on me about generalizations, for two such complex people it would be far more accurate to say she is a strong violet & I am a deep purple. So hush.) Check out her latest entry here.

for all you rat lovers out there

You can read about Quinn's travails with her new charge here .

behold the power of chocolate

Coconut truffle You scored 40% Dark, 51% Crunch, and 78% Chewy!

You are a smooth coconut truffle: Creamy coconut filling accented with coconut flakes, in a milk chocolate shell. Soft and irresistably sweet. I would label you as an introvert though....you prefer to keep more to yourself or small groups than to be at a wild party. But you're a lovely person and friend, someone that others can truly count on. And you see the world through rose-colored glasses, which is getting harder these days, so hold onto that optimism :) Like this one? Try my other tests! The Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Test What Type of Human Are You? Which Mixed Drink Are You? Which Major US City Are You? What Kind of Place Are You? Please rate 'em if you like 'em! :)

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 6% on Dark You scored higher than 13% on Crunchy You scored higher than 73% on Chewy

Link: The Box of Chocolates Test written by weerediii on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

a pic is worth ... well you know the rest

What happens in Vegas...

I just returned from my 6-day adventure in Las Vegas. No not a vacation adventure, but an educational one: the Western Veterinary Conference. Fourteen thousand vets & staff descended on the Mandalay Bay Convention Center...I dare say Las Vegas was the best place for a sick pet to be. (Okay, so most of us aren't licensed to practice in Nevada...must you be such a stickler for detail?)

I learned quite a bit during my stay, and it wasn't all regarding my profession:

1. Avoid realtors in red clothing. For the second year in a row, the Mandalay Bay put us and Kelly-Williams in the same area, added seasonings, and shook well. We were inundated with cult-like groups wearing some gawd-awful combinations of red hats, red coats, red shoes, red glasses, blinking lights...you get the idea. Some of them one-on-one, of course, seemed to be pleasant people; but in packs and herds they were rather an obnoxious, pushy lot. Our only consolation was hoping we could gross them out if they eavesdropped on some of our more gnarly horror stories.
2. Jay Leno is still funny. I saw Mr. Leno about 16 years ago (ironically while in vet school) and thought he was great, but I can't say I find him as funny on The Tonight Show. How the WVC landed him for our opening event I don't know, but he was freakin' hilarious. If you have a chance to see him in one of his club outings by all means do so.
3. No matter how much cash you bring, it won't be enough. And I'm not talking about gambling. I'm talking about eating! The food is still great, but it's definitely no longer $20/day. I took $120 cash and put some meals on my credit card, yet I still came home without a single dollar bill.
4. Southwest Airlines is still a great way to fly, but what happened to all the crazy jokes? When I first started going to this conference years ago, it took me a couple times before I discovered SWA. The fares were inexpensive, the planes were clean, and all the employees were pleasant & professional. (Key reasons why today SWA & JetBlue are the only airlines in the entire country that are in the black.) But best of all -- each and every one of them was (on purpose) FUNNY. They cracked jokes from the ticket counter all the way until landing. ("If you are flying with someone who needs assistance, please place your own oxygen mask on first before you help your husband.") But they don't do that anymore. Sure they are still pleasant & courteous...but I miss chuckling through the entire trip.
5. Wear layers. Because it doesn't matter that you were completely comfortable for 2 days and never wore that jacket you hauled around. Because on that third day, when you leave your jacket in the hotel room, THAT will be the day that you have to sit in a room that has delusions of being an ice box.

So that was my stay. I updated my textbooks, picked up some good practice tips, and came home with a lot of dirty laundry. As to anything else...that will, indeed, stay in Vegas.

enneagrams

>the Perfectionist Test finished!

you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE. "I do everything the right way" Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. How to Get Along with Me Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work. Acknowledge my achievements. I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am. Tell me that you value my advice. Be fair and considerate, as I am. Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive. Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first. What I Like About Being a One being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal working hard to make the world a better place having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people What's Hard About Being a One being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met feeling burdened by too much responsibility thinking that what I do is never good enough not being appreciated for what I do for people being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am obsessing about what I did or what I should do being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously Ones as Children Often criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers are very responsible; may assume the role of parent hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry") Ones as Parents teach their children responsibility and strong moral values are consistent and fair discipline firmly Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You liked the test? so please RATE it :-) You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose CZ Would you rather have chosen: "_new">AZ (THREE) BZ (FIVE) >CX (TWO) CY (SIX)

This test tracked 2 variables. How the score compared to the other people's: "0"> "black" border="0"> /> Higher than 0% on ABC "black" border="0"> Higher than 0% on XYZ

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Link: "http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid= 12721960859055255705">The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid

okay maybe not the tofu dogs...

You Are Lisa Simpson

A total child prodigy and super genius, you have the mind for world domination. But you prefer world peace, Buddhism, and tofu dogs. You will be remembered for: all your academic accomplishments Your life philosophy: "I refuse to believe that everybody refuses to believe the truth"

The Simpsons Personality Test

no wonder I liked that super bowl ad

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

can I hear an "amen"?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/13/national/13evolution.html?ex=1297486800&en=ce76ae431c32fd46&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&
emc=rss

Be glad you're not related to me

This is getting ridiculous. Actually we passed ridiculous a good year & a half ago... surely we are onto the category of Defies Belief. Wait, no, that one's been passed too. Okay, Defies Description. Not that I won't try.

For those of you who are not familiar with my recent history, allow me to recap. Almost two years ago, my mother died unexpectedly. Two months later my cat was having grand mal seizures (fyi, seizures in cats are usually a Bad Thing). One month later I was forced to close my veterinary clinic (my Dream) and start bankruptcy proceedings. Calls from a zillion collection agencies lasted for months. At this point I became a full-time caregiver for my father, who was grieving terribly and had his own serious health problems. Two of my closest friends began drifting away. Two months later my uncle died. Two weeks after that I finally had to admit it was time for my 17-yr old dog to join her brother Up There. During this time I developed the most severe depression I've ever had (duh). A month later my dad ended up in the hospital with a crushed vertebra from osteoporosis. A month after that one of the friends cut off all communication. Dad's mental & emotional decline continued, only he didn't realize the mental aspects & insisted he could drive, etc. (thank heavens he didn't act on it). The bankruptcy was finalized three months after the holidays. Then one day last summer I came home from helping a friend for a couple hours to find that Dad had passed away. (For both of my parents, their loyal dog Jackson was with them. Talk about a heavy duty job for a dog.) Two months after that, I diagnosed my chronic kidney disease cat w/hyperthyroidism. Then came the first holidays without either of my parents. My uncle reached the last stages of Parkinsons and passed away just last month. Now today my aunt was rushed to the hospital and is getting blood transfusions as I type; they found multiple gastric and duodenal ulcers.

So, like I said. Be glad you're not related to me.

Resistance is Futile

batten down the hatches!!!

Natives of western Washington know there are three natural events (each varying from annoyance to disaster) for which we must be prepared.

1. Flooding. After an almost record-setting rainy January, we're already dealing with this a bit. Tends to happen several times a year in certain areas.
2. Earthquakes. We had a little three-point something tremblor last evening. A nice little "wtf?!?" moment.
3. Windstorms. We usually get one of these suckers sometime between October & December, occasionally January. Our most infamous ones of the past 10-15 years were the Inaugural Day Storm (Clinton's...damn I miss that man) and the smaller one that left many a raw turkey in western Washington ovens some Thanksgiving Day awhile back.

We haven't had our storm yet this winter, and that's about to change. The weather service is telling us that the Big One will hit tomorrow. (Usually The Big One refers to item #2 but thankfully not in this case.) The following warning appears on the yahoo weather site today:

"PEOPLE IN THE WARNING AREA SHOULD BE READY FOR DAMAGING WINDS.SECURE ITEMS SUCH AS TRASH CANS...LAWN FURNITURE...AND OTHERLOOSE OUTDOOR OBJECTS. HIGH WINDS CAN TOPPLE TREES...DOWN POWERLINES... AND DAMAGE SOME STRUCTURES."

Wheeeeeee! As long as no one is hurt or killed, these storms are kinda fun. The power companies, though, will have to work triple strength to restore all electricity by Sunday morning -- no one wants mass panic on the streets from people trying to find someone w/a working television. GO SEAHAWKS!

A Vast Right-Wing Housecleaning Conspiracy

(Hillary was right, y'know.)

There seems to be fundamental forces at work this week. Last week I returned from Idaho to find my living room carpet had still not vaccuumed itself. As of today it still hasn't gotten it done. It keeps finding delaying tactics...first it encouraged the pets to knock over a couple potted plants, throwing decorative rock everywhere. Which, of course, has to be picked up piece by piece before the vaccuum cleaner can get to work. If that weren't enough of a "this has to be done first before that can be done" situation, the carpet subsequently caused the puppies to have a pee party. The spots had to be treated with Nature's Miracle, so once again vaccuuming could not happen because we wouldn't want to electrocute ourselves by sucking liquid into the vaccuum's motor now would we? Now today the carpet has lulled the Mama Dog With Overly Long Toenails into a deep sleep, & I prefer to trim toenails right before vaccuuming for easy cleanup. The nerve!

Oh great. Now the empty pet food cans in the sink have taken up the cause, refusing to rinse themselves & hop in the recycling bag. How rude.

"Into the Freying Pan"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/30/AR2006013001160.html

He Who Shall Not Be Named

I am sitting here waiting for the president to shut up the State of the Union speech to be over. I am quite proud of my low blood pressure, and I wish to keep it there. I will, however, listen to my PBS pundits (they ARE fair & balanced, dammit) for their takes. I also want to hear the new governor of Virginia speak afterwards...never too early to take a look at potential candidates for some future Next Time. (Speaking of which, omg it looks like Barrack Obama is taking notes...how cool is that!) AAUGHHH Hwsnbn smirked!!! *shudder*

Okay I've crawled back out from under the table. That was close.

A plethora of piddle

Not only have the pups discovered the joy of exercising their lower urinary tracts, but they are practicing with unbridled zeal. Let's hope these puppy pad thingies work.

Oh crap I've caught a cold. I thought I had been sufficiently paranoid around my 20-month-old third cousin last week (well in terms of hand sanitizer, at least) but it appears I was sorely mistaken. Drat. I guess I can be greatful it's just a cold, seeing that I totally spaced on getting a flu shot for this season.

Caffeine in my veins

I have been living on caffeine & its fumes for over 3 days now, but that story will have to wait. I just wanted to deliver the latest poopy update.

Apparently in the three days I was gone, the pups discovered how to pee on their own. Everywhere!

All eyes are wide open & all legs are starting to get a handle on this balance thing.

And this morning, Two Spot & T's pup discovered...(drum roll, please)...DOG FOOD. Pretty soon there were 5 or 6 pups piling into the dish. Poor mama dog, I could see her thinking, "First they suck the life force out of me every day, now they're eating my breakfast?!?" At least she will soon realize the benefits of being left alone a bit more.

They are just so damned adorable, I'm sure it must be illegal.

Oh I hate days like this

About an hour ago I ended up having to put little hereford girl to sleep. She had actually lost even more weight overnight, was weaker, and was having difficulty breathing. Arghh. To her credit, mama dog still wanted to groom her; but this was beyond help of even a mama's love, so I sent the little one off to romp & play in a better place.

POOPIES!!!

Sorry I have been so remiss in posting the past few weeks (especially after the lovely free publicity from Mel). But I have a good reason. A noble very good reason. You see, in my infinite wisdom (or not), I took in a foster dog. A very, VERY pregnant foster dog. So as of today in addition to my regular crew (2 dogs, 6 cats, & 424 gallons worth of tropical fish) (don't try this at home, I'm a licensed professional. really.), I have a mama dog & 7 14-day old puppies. Oh what was I thinking joy!

This experience has had its fair share of travails. The night after the pups were born, my youngest calico wandered too close & Doggy Jeckel turned into Psycho Mama Hyde. Fortunately for all, no ER trip was required, although I did put my poor suffering kitty through the indignity of xrays the next day. (Again, people -- I am a D.V.M -- if this ever happens to you, get your pet the hell into the ER right away.) Mama Dog has pretty much returned to normal re: kitties (as long as the pups aren't involved); however, the other day she was just being an overall pill, not just w/kitties but in terms of housetraining, bossing the other dogs, etc. That is, she was until Nutter Butter came along. Mama Dog was idiotic naive enough to chase Nutter Butter (my cat of 14.5 years of calico 'tude equipped w/extra toes & dagger claws to match). Let's just say Mama found herself cornered, desperate to escape, & with a claw firmly imbedded in her muzzle. She has been oh so good since then. Not to mention that night I had a very-pleased-with-herself cat.

Alas, it appears tonight that I am losing one of the pups (little white face girl, the hereford). I realize that is often the way of things, but it still bites. One reason, I suppose, I took on this dog was to have some lives begin in this house (for a change), so likely having to let one go is not an easy thing. Sigh. At least I have the sense that my mom is waiting to take the little one in, if that must come to pass. [Ed. note -- I just took a break to try feeding her again. Unlike for the past day or two, she actually protested. The subcutaneous fluids I administered earlier seem to have helped. We shall see.]

So. Who needs a new dog or two?